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Above Board: Doing Hard Things...Together

I think the real difference is that I didn’t feel alone anymore.

 

Sometimes, as clerk of Friends Select’s board of trustees, I get caught in the trap of thinking I have to figure something out on my own. But when I remember that this is a false narrative and I reach out to a fellow board member or ask a committee or the whole board to bring their wisdom and experience to the table, I get re-energized and together we create a solution to the problem at hand.

 


I love doing jigsaw puzzles, but recently, I was working on a particularly hard one.

 

I noticed as it sat on the table for months that I was avoiding working on it. It just seemed too complicated. Then my son-in-law came over and got excited about it. As he sat at the table, I felt myself drawn in and stood first on one side and then another finding pieces to put in place. 


At first, I thought it was just a matter of seeing the puzzle from a slightly different angle that made the difference. That probably helped, but I think the real difference is that I didn’t feel alone anymore. Someone else came in with a fresh pair of eyes and excitement to take on this beast of a puzzle.

This is a good metaphor for thinking about leadership. Sometimes, as clerk of Friends Select’s board of trustees, I get caught in the trap of thinking I have to figure something out on my own. But when I remember that this is a false narrative and I reach out to a fellow board member or ask a committee or the whole board to bring their wisdom and experience to the table, I get re-energized and together we create a solution to the problem at hand.

The other benefit is that it encourages engagement from others. We have a highly engaged board made up of alumni, parents, and members of the Quaker meetings that have care of Friends Select. Individually and collectively, we are charged with putting the best interest of the school and its mission first.

One of our trustees shared with me that she is on many boards but none of them have our high level of participation. She thinks that is at least in part because we use Quaker decision-making. This model is one whereby the clerk isn’t responsible for coming up with an answer; the clerk is responsible for creating a process whereby different perspectives can be expressed. Decisions aren’t left to the will of the majority. This decision-making process can take longer, but it invites us to really listen to one another with open minds and open hearts. The clerk is listening for where there is unity.

Whenever the board needs to make a decision, my prayer is always that God will support us to say what we need to say, release our egos, and listen for something that may never have occurred to us when we began. This works best when those involved are fully engaged and committed to our sense of purpose. 

Along with the board of trustees, we have an extraordinary group of alumni connecting through the Alumni Association, passionate parents and guardians plugged in through the Family Association, and numerous clubs and committees for students and faculty. The health of our community is because of this kind of engagement. 

As the world gets more complicated and polarized, leading to people feeling increasingly overwhelmed and isolated, it is through heart-centered engagement that we can support each other. That is how our community can thrive. 

- Ingrid Lakey '89, P'27 

 

 

Thu, 29 Aug 2024

2024-25 New Employees List

Please join us in welcoming the following new employees to the Friends Select community:

Sun, 05 May 2024

Michael Gary Speaks Spring 2023

I am so proud of what we have accomplished together since we launched our strategic plan, Advance Friends Select.

Sun, 05 May 2024

Giving Back: Lon and Bonnie Greenberg GP’25, ’27

Former Friends Select grandparents and longtime supporters of the school, Lon and Bonnie Greenberg GP’25, ’27 recently made a significant contribution to create an endowment fund for SummerSessions, a facet of the Advance Friends Select: Transformation Campaign.

Tue, 30 Apr 2024

Upper School Writer Program Thrives

To enrich the educational experience of upper school students and celebrate Philadelphia’s vibrant arts and culture, Friends Select School established the upper school Visiting Writer Program in 2019 with support from the John M. Dallam ’49 Endowed Fund. Each year, a distinguished Philadelphia-based writer is invited to engage with students and share their expertise, insight, and literary talent.

Tue, 30 Apr 2024

Successfully Navigating the College Application Process as a Student-Athlete

For students interested in pursuing a collegiate athletic career, the college search and application process add layers of complexity. Balancing academic and athletic commitments requires foresight, careful planning, and a strategic approach.

Tue, 30 Apr 2024

Students Participate in the Mayor’s African American Historic Statue Advisory Committee

Two Friends Select students had the privilege to serve on former Mayor Jim Kenney’s African American Historic Statue Advisory Committee convened by the Office of Arts, Culture, and the Creative Economy (OACCE).

Tue, 30 Apr 2024

Students Lead Voter Registration Drive at Shackamaxon Powwow

Friends Select upper school students facilitated a voter registration drive last September at the Shackamaxon Powwow at Penn Treaty Park. Hosted annually by the Native American House Alliance (NAHA)—a nonprofit organization that supports family, housing, and employment services to the local Native American community—the Shackamaxon Powwow honors Lenape culture and heritage.

Tue, 30 Apr 2024

Michael Gary Speaks Spring 2024

Watching and reading the news about boards of education at various levels throughout the United States purposefully censoring books and altering curricula to fit their political ideology, I am grateful to be an educator at Friends Select School.

Tue, 30 Apr 2024

From the Archives: Creating A Friends Select Docuseries

Friends Select School history was recently made with the production of our nine-part documentary series. Through archival footage, as well as interviews with alumni, faculty, and staff, A Friends Select Docuseries was meticulously crafted to honor pivotal moments in our school’s history and legacy.

Tue, 30 Apr 2024

ESF Becomes Friends Select’s New Summer Camp Partner

Friends Select School is embarking on a new partnership with ESF Camps & Experiences this summer. ESF will bring to Friends Select a premier collection of camps featuring over 60 fun-filled enrichment and character-building activities for students of all ages.

 

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