Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, & Belonging

Discrimination, bullying, and harassment on the basis of gender identity or expression are prohibited at Friends Select School. It is the responsibility of all employees to ensure that all students, including transgender and gender nonconforming students, have a safe school environment. Any incident or complaint of discrimination, bullying, or harassment based on a person’s actual or perceived gender identity or expression is taken seriously and handled in the same manner as other discrimination, bullying, or harassment complaints, as provided by school policy and protocols. This response generally includes reporting the incident or complaint to the head of school or designee, taking age- and developmentally-appropriate corrective action, and providing students and employees with appropriate resources. 

With the Quaker value of integrity as one of our guiding principles, we value that each individual should be free to be their true self. To that end,  Friends Select School continuously reviews policies and procedures to balance the needs, safety, and health of the individual with the needs, safety, and health of the community. The guidelines set forth here are broad in nature and are meant to provide clarity for school students, families, and employees.

This statement applies to students whose gender identity is emerging and also to those students whose gender identity has been consistently and sincerely asserted at school as part of their core identity. Friends Select School recognizes that gender identity can be fluid; this statement is an attempt to ensure school is a safe experience for all students. The school also notes that families are central to conversations concerning students, gender identity, harassment, and safety; the school intentionally partners with families. Friends Select works closely with the student and family in devising an appropriate plan regarding the confidentiality of the student’s transgender status that works for both the student and the school. Privacy considerations may also vary with the age of the student. As specific situations arise, the school reserves the right to interpret these guidelines in light of individual circumstances.

The purpose of this statement is to guide the school community in creating an educational environment that is safe and free from discrimination, harassment, and bullying for all students, regardless of gender identity or gender expression. The tenets of this statement should be interpreted as consistent with the goals of reducing the stigmatization of and improving the educational integration of transgender and gender nonconforming students, maintaining the privacy of all students, and fostering cultural competence and professional development for school employees. Furthermore, this statement supports healthy communication between educators and parents/guardians to further the successful educational development and well-being of every student.

This statement covers conduct that takes place in the school, on school property, at school-sponsored functions and activities, on school buses, and on field trips. It also pertains to usage of electronic technology and electronic communication that occurs in the school, on school property, at school-sponsored functions and activities, on school buses, on field trips, and on school computers, networks, forums, our learning management system, and mailing lists. It applies to the entire school community, all school employees, board members, and students, as well as parents/guardians and volunteers in their interactions with the school community. Additionally, this statement works in concert with other policies and protocols from the Handbooks for Lower, Middle, and Upper Schools that protect individuals and the community. Families should refer to the handbooks for a wider view of student behavior guidelines and standards. 

Transgender and gender nonconforming youth use a number of words to describe their gender experiences. Terminology and language describing transgender individuals can differ based on region, language, race or ethnicity, age, culture, and many other factors. Generally speaking, school employees should inquire which terms students use and avoid terms that make these students uncomfortable; a good general guideline is to employ those terms which the students use to describe themselves, so long as those terms themselves are not degrading or offensive to others.

Every student has the right to be addressed by a name and pronouns that correspond to the student’s gender identity. Friends Select School allows students to use a chosen name and gender pronouns that reflect their identity regardless of whether any legal changes have been made.

It is recommended that school employees privately ask students and their families how they want to be addressed in class and in the school’s communications with the student’s parents or guardians. The school will communicate with the family after becoming aware of a student’s name change request and will use discretion regarding communicating home. Some students may request to use “he, him, his” or “she, her, hers” pronouns, while others may feel most comfortable being addressed by gender-neutral pronouns such as “they, them, theirs” or “ze, zir, zirs” or just referred to by their names (without pronouns). If the student has previously been known at school by a different name, the school administration will direct school personnel to use the student’s chosen name and appropriate pronouns. When appropriate, the school and the family will discuss whether the name change is a nickname or a permanent record name change request. For the latter, and to ensure consistency among administrators and other school personnel, every effort will be made to update student education records (such as attendance reports, class rosters for substitutes, LMS systems, school IDs, transcripts, electronic records, etc.) with the student’s chosen name and appropriate pronouns.  

In some circumstances, school administrators may be specifically required by law to record a student’s name or gender as it appears on a current birth certificate. In those instances, school staff and administrators shall record this information in a separate, confidential file to avoid the inadvertent disclosure of the information. All records that are not specifically required by law to match government-issued documents shall be updated upon a student’s request, the school’s subsequent communication with the family, and a process which includes a review from the administration. (This section is informed by the School Records policy.)

All bathrooms at Friends Select School are gender-neutral. All bathrooms have floor-to-ceiling stalls for privacy. There are individual, single-stall restrooms available in several places throughout the school.

Students have the right to dress in accordance with their gender identity, within the constraints of the dress guidelines adopted by the school. At graduation, students can dress in white or dark (charcoal, navy blue, or black) dresses or suits. 

Friends Select School recognizes the importance of sports for gender-based bonding and that this developmental and social process matters for all students—not just cis-gendered students. Ultimately, the goal is for all students to be in spaces where they feel safe, understood, and in community.

Generally, physical education classes at Friends Select are not divided by gender; on the rare occasions when they are, students may participate in physical education in accordance with the student’s preferred gender identity. 

Participation in competitive athletic activities and contact sports will be resolved on a case-by-case basis. Friends Schools League (FSL) and Pennsylvania Interscholastic Athletic Association (PIAA) guidelines determine eligibility for individuals to participate in FSL and PIAA competitions. 

Friends Select maintains separate locker and shower rooms that are labeled Girls’ Locker Room and Boys’ Locker Room. For physical education and athletics, transgender and gender nonconforming students may use the locker room that corresponds to their preferred gender identity.

If there is a request for increased privacy, any student will be provided access to a reasonable accommodation such as but not limited to: (a) locker assignment near a coach’s office or a supportive peer group; (b) use of a private area within the public area of the locker room facility (e.g., nearby restroom stall with a door or an area separated by a curtain); (c) use of a nearby private area (e.g., nearby restroom). 

As a general matter, Friends Select School evaluates all traditionally gender-based activities, rules, policies, and practices—including classroom activities, school ceremonies, photos, and documents—and maintains only those that have clear and sound pedagogical purposes. Students may participate in any such activities or conform to any such rule, policy, or practice consistent with their gender identity. 

Much of this policy is drawn from the proposed model policy published by the Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network and the National Center for Transgender Equality.